A little less alone
by obsessedatopia
Summary: Set at the end of 1x21. Stef finds Callie playing her guitar in the backyard and takes the opportunity to help her process her emotional day. One shot. Obviously spoilers up to and including 1x21.


**Hi folks! So this is a bit of a one off request/early birthday gift for _TheTBone_ inspired by our post-finale discussions. I hope you like it! If you did, maybe you can let me know!**

Stef crept through the door onto the porch seeing Wyatt and Callie deeply engrossed in a song she picked away at on the guitar. She was used to getting that warm tingling from hearing Brandon play the piano, but to have it come from Callie, from this new part of her family - it was almost like it was the first time she had heard Brandon play. The first time she had seen Jesus ride a bike. The first time she had seen Marianas skip with a jump rope. That stirring in her heart which on the one hand made her sad she would never get to share those lost moments with Callie and Jude, but at the same time the warm relief that they had come into her life at all, albeit a few years later than she would have liked. She just hoped that this latest bump in the road wouldn't jeopardise that.

She looked at Callie's face, apparently so happy, but at the same time - here she was. Alone from the family. Wyatt may have been sat there with her, but he didn't take her out. She had isolated herself. Again. Like she always did. She longed for the day that wouldn't be her immediate reaction - _that_ would be a first that would set her heart ablaze.

"Didn't see you there..." She heard Callie's voice and saw Wyatt spring up nervously. "We were just playing guitar." He added quickly. He hadn't quite got over his experience with Stef at the motel.

She gave him a smile.

"It's OK - I know." She assured him with a swagger. "Keep that attitude up though - I like that." She clapped a hand on his chest playfully as he fiddled with his shirt hem and gave her an awkward smile.

"I was just calling you guys in for some cake."

"OK, we're coming." Callie moved up, placing the guitar down. Stef watched her and saw Wyatt moving out the corner of her eye. There was still so much she wanted to say from the courthouse and everything about this moment felt perfect.

"Hey Wyatt, why don't you go ahead." He lingered for a moment to see Callie's reaction but Stef's smile urged him on. He left them with a slow nod. Callie had looked over nervously, gulping down. She wasn't uneasy around Stef, not at all - but there was part of her that had been glad Rita had been the one to see her break outside the courthouse. Had it been Stef or Lena she wasn't sure she would have been able to keep her composure at all.

"Everything OK?" She asked tentatively, even though she knew what was coming. She could tell by the look in Stef's eyes. That look of pure love and concern. She had seen it in the garden at Frank's funeral. She had seen it after the trial. She had seen it the night she had rescued Jude - even though it had terrified her. Part of it still did.

"I just wanted to check in, you know. It's been an emotional day." She put her hand on Callie's leg as Callie shuffled. She was getting better at being at ease to the physical contact but she still had to fight the initial discomfort she'd spent years building.

"A good kind though, right? Jude being adopted is the only thing I've ever wanted." she smiled as genuinely as she could. It was true after all. Mostly true.

Not true enough for Stef, however.

She sighed out a smile, studying Callie's face. The teen quickly diverted her eyes. She knew Stef well enough to know she would see through it. Part of her tried to think of a quick joke or way of getting out of it, but another part of her, the part of her that had only recently begun to resurface, longed for the words she knew she was about to hear, even though she didn't know exactly what they would be.

"Well, maybe now you can start to worry a little less about him and a little more about yourself." Stef finally responded. She didn't need to say she knew what Callie had said wasn't entirely true. It was said in the look of her face and in the soft grip of her hand that Callie hadn't even noticed had occurred. She looked down and there is was though. Her hand clasped in Stef's.

"We will sort something out, you know." She assured her. "So, you've got another barrier to cross over, another bump in the road but it'll come, Callie. I've never met anyone as determined as you. I mean I gotta say, it's not always determination to do something I _like_" - she teased softly with a squint prompting a small, sheepish smile, "but if there's one person I know that can take whatever the world throws at them and still come out the other side, it's you."

Callie tried to hide the tears welling up in her eyes. Once again though, she couldn't hide them from Stef who gave her hand a tighter squeeze.

"Love, you can say what's on your mind you know. You don't have to be strong for me. This is one place you don't have to be strong."

She put her other arm around her back, encasing Callie under her arm as she sniffed back the tears.

"I'm just getting so tired, Stef." she whispered. "I'm getting tired of fighting against it all."

Stef dipped her head against Callie's, urging her forward but not wanting to interrupt the flow as it came.

"I lied to you, that night I skipped group." she croaked out, as confidently as she could.

Stef's eyebrows creased down and she gently lifter her head back up. She felt Callie's hand twitch but refused to let go yet. She knew something hadn't sat right with the story that night, but right now - as long as it didn't have anything to do with bribing Ana - she would probably be willing to see past it. It didn't stop her from fearing any more revelations though.

"What about?" she asked as gently as she could, successfully managing to hide her nervousness.

"I went to see my...Donald." she corrected, unable to use the word.

Stef breathed in deeply. She knew she should have seen this coming.

"That was pretty dangerous, Callie." Was all she could muster to say. Today was not the day to be angry, nor was she even sure she would have been had she known at the time. This had clearly been more of a struggle than they had thought. She was at least comforted to know that her instincts had been right, even if they had let her down by not anticipating the move completely.

"I know it was, I figured he wouldn't hurt me though."

Stef sighed at the innocence in what she was saying.

"There are more ways someone can hurt you than physically, love."

Callie's head dipped down and she removed her hand from Stef's grasp, clasping them between her crossed legs under her thigh.

"He didn't though." She shrugged. "And I felt I got to know him; to _understand_ him - at least as well as I could, you know?" She looked back up, almost laughing at her own misfortune. "And then now..._now_ I have some new man - one I don't even have any memory of at all. I don't know who he _is_, what he _does_ - I don't even know how he knew my mom and he suddenly has control over my life?" Her voice was now quickening to anger. "I mean, what? Does everyone have control over my life except me?" She snapped her eyes closed as the outburst fell to a whisper. Stef tried to take in all that she said. For a few moments there were only the sounds of the crickets and the faint sound of laughter from inside the house. Other than that, deadly silence, right up until Callie's voice croaked up again. The anger had now drained, it was just saturated in sadness.

"And now the one thing in my life that I have always had...Jude. He's now what? My _half_ brother? I've just never...I never thought I could ever feel more..._alone_." She sniffed, once again trying to cover her anguish with a half-hearted chuckle.

Stef looked Callie up and down, her heart aching. She had been thinking about this more in terms of the adoption, possibly from a selfish point of view, when really one thing she hadn't considered was what this meant for Callie's identity. Everything she had ever known about herself and her past, about her mother and father, her brother - the most important person in her life - had been tossed into the air and even the thought of the questions that must be running through her foster daughter's head deafened her own.

She wished Lena was out here, she always knew what to say. She always had the right words in these situations. Stef had already been feeling flawed in her parenting and right now every phrase that popped into her head she second guessed. Tossing it over before rejecting it, the silence prolonging. Eventually she took a deep breath and tried to calm herself with her natural instinct. She pushed her arm further around Callie's back and took her hand in her other to clasp around Callie so she had her in a lock. She was relieved to feel Callie cosy up into her shoulder rather than pull away, basking in the warmth Stef was providing. Basking in the security which she had so craved and had faced losing yet again.

"I don't know the answers, Callie." She whispered. "I know as much as you do and I'm not going to make promises I can't keep."

A lone tear trickled down Callie's cheek.

"But I promise you that whatever happens, whatever you need to find out, _whatever_ you have to face along this road - that the one thing you will never be through any of it is alone. I can't stop you from feeling that way." She took a small pause to kiss her head. "But I can promise you that you never _will_ be." Callie blinked another tear, breathing through her mouth to prevent breaking into sobs.

Stef pulled away from her grip and used her thumb to catch the tears, even though Callie's gaze remained on the floor.

"If there's one thing I've learned from this crazy family of mine, it's that your past doesn't matter nearly as much as your present, and more so your future. Your future is _whatever_ you want it to be, love. There may be things that get thrown at you along the way, but - I dunno, I think that's what makes being there in the end all the more rewarding."

Callie moved her hands back up onto her lap and Stef wasted no time in taking them into her own.

She licked her bottom lip and squeezed her hands tightly.

"There were days when I never thought this future was mine to have. There was so much in my way, and a lot of it was me. Some of it was maybe my Dad, some of it maybe Mike - and maybe some of it even Brandon, but it's the hardest things to obtain that are worth fighting for and I wouldn't take back a single step that got me to where I am - even if sometimes when you look back they're no what they seemed to be." She shooked Callie's hands lightly, finally getting Callie's gaze back into her own. Her eyes were now drowning in unspilled tears and the sight took a swing at Stef's heart once again.

"Oh Callie." She gasped out before pulling her into a furious hug.

She could hear the sniffs and the sobs as the reality and the emotions came crashing down, but much more prevalent to her attention was the firm grip the girl was placing on her back. Tight and unbending. They locked for a few moments in their pose before breaking off and Stef cupping Callie's face once again, wiping the tears from her cheeks.

"Whatever you need to cope with this, you tell us, yes?" Stef asked, her eyebrow creased in deep concern. Callie nodded, at first with slow dips but then working into a more furious oscillation. She took her arm up to sloppily wipe her face.

"I will." She spoke out through another desperate smile.

"OK, good." Stef stroked her hand down the young girls' arm and settled with a pat on her wrist.

"Now, you need to get cleaned up so we can finish celebrating the joy you've brought to your brother. Your _brother_." She emphasised. "Nothing less."

Callie nodded, her face filled with gratitude at the reminder.

"You don't have to wait for me. People will want to get stuck into the cake." She smiled, wiping the last dregs of tears.

"Hey." Stef scolded with a squint. "I'll say when people do or don't eat cake. Who was that? Marie Curie?"

Callie gave her a squint of her own through another laugh. "I think you mean Marie Antoinette. I'm not too sure the French Revolution applies here though..." Callie chuckled back, the weight of the day finally relaxing.

"Alright, smartypants." Stef stood up, pulling Callie up under her arm. "Well either way, we'll wait for you and that's final. Go get yourself sorted." She lightly patted her on the back towards the house.

"And Callie..." She stopped her just as she was about to disappear. She turned back, a look of further confusion.

"Your guitar playing was beautiful, love." She assured her with a smile. "You've no idea how much hearing you play means to me."

Callie nodded a humble thanks before heading round the other door of the house, Stef watching her go and placing a hand on her own chest over her emotionally exhausted but ever growing heart.

As Callie reached the other door she looked out into the night. It was a similar darkness as it had been that morning she ran. That morning she tried and failed to run from the inevitable - and more so, from what she knew she wanted.

This time though she didn't hesitate for a second as she placed her hand on the door handle.

This time she would choose fight - and this time she did feel a little less alone.


End file.
